Why Can’t We Have It All?

Perfectionism.

Simple word which expresses everything people want to explain. I’m 1000% sure that nobody in this entire universe has attained each and everything exactly what he/she wanted.

In Psychology, perfectionists are considered to always try to attain goals which are highly unattainable by working harder and harder and harder. Sometimes, by hook or crook too. Perfectionism is such a trait that demands flawlessness in work. But that makes life depressing as hell. All of us have this obsession to do better in life. Because 100 > 90 and you WANT that 100.

Common examples which everyone may have experienced are:

  • As a child you wanted to sit on the swing first, but someone else would get to sit on swing first everyday which made you feel bad.

You : 0. Your Target Failure : 1

  • As a teenager you wanted to date that crush of several years but eventually he/she became committed to someone else…probably someone you utterly disliked.

You : 0. Your Target Failure : 2

  • As a student you wanted 100/100 in that subject which you loved but you received the answer sheet showing 89/100.

You : 0. Your Target Failure : 3

  • As an employee you wanted that promotion but someone else got that promotion. Yes, that guy was older than you but still you felt bad.

You : 0. Your Target Failure : 4

  • You wanted to lose 10 kgs in 2 months without gym. You lost 5-6 kgs…bad feeling?

You : 0. Your Target Failure : 5

You keep counting about your target failures but can’t you understand that this love for high targets is making you better and better everyday?

You see the movie till interval and then judge that movie is good or bad. Check the ending too:

  1. The boy or girl who used to get swing first everyday skipped sleeping in afternoon. You did that. As you slept more in your growing years you became healthier too.
  2. The boy or girl who started dating your crush wasn’t that happy. Relationship didn’t last a month. He was a hidden jerk. You saved yourself from spoiling studies.
  3. Numbers don’t matter. You didn’t get full. Neither anyone else. But for that 100 you worked hard. Work in progress journey is better than destination.
  4. He got promoted, then switched to some other company. Company came into crisis and had to start layoffs. They gave pink slip to that guy!
  5. Yes, you couldn’t lose 10 kgs but you lost 5 kgs WITHOUT GYM.

Love the process. Results are part of life. Now compared to above 5 materialistic results, I’d tell 5 results which made your feel happier than the above 5 but don’t want to accept it because you can’t measure them….

  1. Friendships – Best achievement of life. Its not easy to maintain   friendships.Significant Other
  2. Smile on your Mother’s face.
  3. Happiness in your Father’s eyes when you become his support system after his years of sacrifices.
  4. Helping a lonely person by just talking to him/her.

Reality Check : Last Thing On Mind

Life is a gift given by Nature. But we eccentrics don’t understand that illusory truth effects need to get a reality check and should not meet unrealistic expectations.

IMG20160105135237.jpg

“Don’t fall into mad whims. Sit and memorize those history timelines. Practice those equations.”

IMG20151215151722.jpg

“Why being so glad?  Stop gazing at that carnation. I know it bloomed. So what? It’s just a flower. Pluck it and put it in your basket. Need to decorate the house. Tonight’s a party. Don’t forget.”

IMG20150918163513

Well, everybody is busy chattering of the new movie which arrived recently standing under that tree but no one can observe those intricate patterns of the leaves blooming from our senior tree like a seeker. I observe what nobody observes.

Reality check is the task I need to do constantly. But I don’t like doing this. But maybe that’s the truth of life.

You get people who betray you. You are left heartbroken. Then you realize that you forgot to take a reality check. And that resulted into such bitter experience. But let’s say that bad experiences are first – hand experiences of reality of life. They teach us. They provide struggles in life. They make us strong enough to prevent that experience again in life. Even if the repercussion is a broken heart.

Be Eccentric.

But Be Practical Too.

Even if you love staying in illusions of life and reality check is the last thing on your mind at the moment.

What I learned from Amélie

I recently watched Amélie again. And I agree that it is one of the most beautiful creations. Languages are never a barrier to understand art. Wish I could write this post in French but I can’t…

It is a 2001 French film starring Audrey Tautou and directed by Jean – Pierre Jeunet. It was 2001. Hence Amélie is now 14 years old….which is hard to imagine. Well, yes I know that phone booths, photo booths, code-less phones, VCRs and small B/W television sets are tough to exist in 2016…but the feeling of joy is meant for infinity. And Amélie is still the best character to describe this feeling.

It revolves around  Amélie Poulain – a shy waitress with a remarkably different and beautiful perspective towards life. I cannot explain much because if you see it then you’d understand it.

And I still agree that its one the best feel – good movies I have watched ever in my life. It changed my life. It shifted my focus from money to the richness of life. Honestly, I was getting more fascinated from wealth in my growing years…which was way too evil to think as a child. And when I watched Amélie I realized that we don’t observe certain things around us which are worthier to watch than counting money all the time.

I learned these points…..not written to offend someone. Some are interesting and some are lessons for life:

I learnt following things from it: ( Plot – Spoilers Ahead!! Needed to alert you…)

1. You can enjoy life without any friends too:

Amélie was suppressed by her parents as they thought she had a heart defect. She was restricted from society and homeschooled and had no friends in childhood. But she had her own way to see life and enjoyed. I loved the way she eats rasberries 😀

raspberries-423194_960_720.jpg

2. Being part of a dysfunctional family doesn’t mean you cannot remain happy:

 They were not – so – sociable parents too but Amélie found her way someway. She coped with her isolation through her active imagination.

3. Life is lovely even without materialism:

Amélie worked as a waitress but had a heart of a princess. She felt happy in simple pleasures. She was happy. Always.

antique-1022481_960_720.jpg

4. Its never too late to become social:

Amélie was home schooled. She had never played with somebody in childhood. But she made everyone happy around her as an adult.

5. You can teach lesson to bad people in a mischievous manner too:

 She taught that lesson to Collignon, a green grocer through gaslighting tactics so that he never abuses his meek assistant Lucien 😉

6. Its good to be childlike at times: 

She never experienced normal childhood which is why she may look childlike to some people. But thats good at times. Simple Pleasures are simply nice.

garden-gnome-797564_960_720.jpg

7. Helping others provides the best joy:

For example….. Amélie helped a blind man with her rich description of surroundings. There are many examples in movie.

mountains-665199_960_720.jpg

8. Its not a crime to have a different perspective towards life:

Amélie was not an Ivy League graduate or a supermodel or anything dreamed by millions. She was a waitress at Café des 2 Moulins. She had different perspective towards life and her destination was not money.

leaves-1031181_960_720.jpg

9. Perfume looks better in simple glass bottles:

Du Parfum residing in those simple glass bottles without sprays looks enchanting. It’s simplicity looks better than body sprays in pressurized containers. Now the hole in my perfume bottle looks less attractive.

bottle-96246_960_720.jpg

10. If Nature deprived you of something then it surely gifted some talent too:

Raymond Dufayel, Amélie’s neighbor was an artist with Brittle bone Disease who repainted Luncheon of the Boating Party by Pierre – Auguste Renoir every year. Even a handshake could cause fractures in his hands. But he was a remarkable artist though. His limitations didn’t stop him from putting efforts in art.

painting-911804_960_720.jpg

And of course Audrey Tautou has portrayed the character of Amélie Poulain so well that Amélie sans Audrey Tautou would become dull enough to omit from watching list of every single art movie buff. She’s one of the most versatile actors in France.

Lastly while I end this post I’d express that the music of Amélie by Yann Tiersen is brilliant. Now, when I linger the streets or take notes in lectures I hear those mesmerizing tunes in my head.

And now obviously when I’d exit and close my laptop I’d feel that mischievous smile of  Amélie on my face. Wondering that how a character whose deprived of any existence can influence you so much….. ❤

 

The Virtual Holiday

We are provided approximately 30% of the year as holidays or leaves officially. And we take up around more 2% due to some or the other reasons. These are normally Saturdays and Sundays and public holidays.

So, eventually we don’t obtain enough days for spending vacations. There are so many vacation deprived countries around the world. We are humans and we demand vacation.

sea-shell-872023_960_720.jpg

Everyone have their own ideology. Some find happiness in pay – rise. Some may feel happy from vacations though.

But vacation does not mean spending hefty amounts on  travel, food and accommodation. Its not about travelling for hours and hours to reach a destination, see that destination and come back. This is just a hectic workout without any relaxation. This would become a wasted effort. You’d get over – wrought and just add up to your own problems ( getting hospitalized or treated for some sun – stroke or  sea sickness or travelling fatigue or poor digestion 😀 ). And the travelling bug won’t let you concentrate at your workplace.

lemon-926722_960_720.jpg

Always plan a schedule which YOU think you are capable of. You live in Seattle and you’d be having a road trip to San Francisco then think twice. Reconsider yourself. Can I stay calm for this much duration? If not which transport apart from roads can I look for?

Visit place like a traveler not a tourist. Everyone says this but what’s the difference?

camera-1053048_960_720.jpg

A tourist reaches destination with a goal. He/she makes a time – table. Normally tourists go through organised tours. Their main work is taking selfies, going to gift shops for friends, reorganizing backpacks and dozing in their hotels. They don’t like to waste time. So, they compare personal vacations like business trips. But its an ideology I’d respect. Travelers wander, loiter, stroll, gossip, lounge, roam and linger.

volkswagen-569315_960_720.jpg

Finally you have the best option. Virtual Holidays. Here you’re sitting in your house in Boston but still you’re pretending as if you’re holidaying in Rome. This is just a game of imagination. It can’t give you the luxury of posting selfies of Travelling but it surely provides you relaxation.

still-life-828747_960_720.jpg

Be Aimless

What were you doing before coming here to read?  Typically you were doing some kind of work with a purpose in mind? Obviously because 24 hours each day are frustrating due to their deceptively short span ( I mean you checked off some work load at home, did laundry and decided to sleep. You dozed off and then when you woke up and you realized you had more work to finish but… 😦  its TOO late now.

We came to Earth. We came here with one purpose. Live Life. But truly when we stepped in our schools… after this “Onset” ( Onset is bad word for start for your info ) no one has encouraged to follow this motto sincerely.

Yeah childhood was fun. Just because we didn’t have those awful classes for “Development” ( Yeah, development of creepy feelings ).

I don’t know why we are imposed with such meaningless things which don’t even have 1% significance in real life. We don’t have subjects like Household Chores or Budget Balance  in our education system which are one of the most important subjects in real life.

I remember a day called as – Career Counselling Session. Honestly they never give up something new and innovative. Its a way of mild brainwashing.

chairs-428633_960_720.jpg

There has to be some moments of being aimless. Nowadays hardly anybody considers this. Taking selfies is not the aim of life. Please don’t get mad for taking pics of you and people around you.

There is a clear difference between living life and passing life.

Watch those meadows aimlessly through the windows of the train and feel blessed.

train-217985_960_720.jpg

Beauty is in each wonder of world that’s breathing in and out. Beauty is in creations. Beauty is life itself. Life is beauty. So, take some time out of counting money and piling assets.

IMG20151205115849.jpg

 

 

Sinister Studies

A Poem dedicated specially to students and based on my past experiences…

Scribbling down the notes from hell

I think about Cellular Jail

And staring at those evil eyes

On which I try to emphasize

image

That short, white & bearded man

Whom we address as ‘sir’

Initiates from washing brains

Till my memory goes blur

image

Those voices beaming in my head

Making me utterly sad

Its making me idiot not wise

His criticism feels vice

The heaps of books,

The stack of papers;

The pathetic notes,

Dangerous than daggers.

image

Why so much agony?

Not reflecting any irony

The ‘sir’ asks us whether things are clear

Honestly my brain was in 1st gear

So you could not clear our concepts

Because of your chapter attacks

He asks whether it makes sense

Not at all… you make us tense

He asks if we got idea of ‘debtor’

I was busy doodling your stature

He asked me fixed asset

I stood without rest

I looked in his eyes

I knew I was wise

I replied with confidence

Like if it was a conference

I was right and so I sat

Went to home I thought that

If he wouldn’t have burdened

We wouldn’t have surrendered

To the tough ocean of knowledge

And had enough courage

To speak in front of class

To speak up for the mass

So I finally I know I can’t deny

That he made our life

Need to salute that clever man

Who taught accounts in short span

To paranormal creatures from hell

Who despise him despite how well

He taught accounting to us

Without any kind of fuss

So well that we can do

Old accounts of Waterloo….

(Sorry the last line is damn cringe-worthy 😉 )

Jokes Apart

Puns are always intended and life would be hell without laughter 🙂 Whenever someone in the group cracks a poor joke, we make a face. But do you have any idea  how our world can be without jokes irrespective of whether we get a good laugh from it or not?

Days Without Jokes = Life Without Happiness = Keyhole Sans Key

youth-570881_960_720.jpg

Have you imagined the poor beings on this earth who were emotionally blackmailed into an education they despise so much by their parents? They are so much frustrated right now….They feel each day as hell.

window-770535_960_720

Have you imagined of those poor beings who are depressed from several failed relationships? They think no one likes them.

heart-34655_960_720.png

And people whose best friend is over – educated, over – competitive and extremely charming so much so that people get attracted to him like bees to nectar? Note : He actually ruined your life by snatching your rank, promotion, increment, friends and potential future spouse.

These tiny jokes are social service for them. They need at least five jokes a day. Even reading dumb jokes can lower the loneliness felt by them. Yes, loneliness in spite of being surrounded by a huge crowd.

Can patients improve their health without medicines? No. Then how these people can improve their life? And laughter is the best medicine. At least they can pretend to laugh….

Next time don’t ruin someone’s punch lines. Jokes are the best help for futile results and broken heart.

P.S. You don’t require teeth like a toothpaste commercial to laugh. 😀

Don’t hate your present

We have full right to complain about the problems of our present condition but we should never show hatred towards our present in actual sense. Students complain about the homework they get. Friends complain about their relationships. Employees complain about the never – ending work load they get. Professionals complain about the behavior of their clients. Businessmen complain about the present depressing market condition. Wives complain about their Husbands. Husbands complain about their wives. Children complain when parents scold. Parents complain when child misbehaves. Teachers complain of nasty students. Top Management complains of each other mildly. And finally grumpy aunties gossip all the savory stuff because they are the best broadcasters in whole world working free of charge.

But all in all we don’t actually hate our present but we pretend it. We complain all the time but finally we love our present. Because if our present is taken away from us then we cannot even survive.

There are so many people in the world who smile despite of hundreds of problems.

img_20151126_123937.jpg

Stay happy. Don’t feel shy to tell your problems to others but don’t hate your present.

We always like our previous life. Just because we have not yet adjusted with our present. And as soon as we adjust with our present, our present is a past.

Getting a problem adjusting to a new college? Yeah we all love to discuss our problems with our friends but please don’t hate that life. Try to love this new life. Don’t be negative. Adjust with new life. If you’d be slow in adjustments…you would not be able to perform well.

IMG20151108153133

Stay happy 🙂

“YAWN” Lectures

When I remember my life years…..ago, I do come across the stupid and boring lectures which were not even 1% interesting. Pathetic would be the right word. Well, we all have different opinions and I respect others but seriously….Thales Theorem?

Yes you saw an animal above because honestly….boring lectures are a transition from being human to being animal.

And yes my mind can never forsake the history timelines loitering around my head like an aged phantom….turning the wholesome goody good day into a nightmare.

Accepted. I hate mugging the timelines. And it took ages to keep them shut in my mind till the bell rang and finally the exam ended.

I didn’t have ANY prejudices or biases with the teacher. I actually respected them but the only obstacle was the weird subjects. Or at least they were weird for me.

notebooks-991860_960_720 (1).jpg

I never performed well in my childhood and never wanted to. I answered a lot in class. Because I loved the extra knowledge not the actual thing because we had to open the textbook and read it.

notes-514998_960_720.jpg

Sometimes I had that desire to doze off in the middle of the lecture but it never happened. But the activity I needed to do again and again with a frequency higher than taking notes was Y-A-W-N-I-N-G.

Yeah we played games, wrote secrets and chatted but what could we do during the lectures of an extremely strict teacher? Thoughts lingered on and on of an entire another world waiting outside the window. I never stopped that train of thoughts. I loved daydreams…

girl-348596_960_720.jpg

I remember exams. Well, people don’t admit but everyone show one or the other symptom of their dislike for exams. Yeah some do like exams but please…nobody can love exams. I had that problem of inability to eat before exams. It still persists. I felt that nausea…sorry to make you remember that hell feeling. My best friend at that moment was Sprite. Nothing could be as heavenly as that.

Distractions are the most hazardous weapon against any student. They helped to survive in boring lecture though.  Some distractions are good and some are bad. We didn’t have internet in childhood but we surely glued our eyes to the TV. It had such a huge impact on us that it kept us preoccupied with the the thoughts of next episode even during lectures.

pencil-1037609__180.jpg

Till then forgive, forsake and forget those boring lectures because its neither the fault of teachers nor the education system. Not even those textbooks. Yeah its boring but you need to pass time sitting in front of that board and thinking : “Why the hell I’m here!”

Everything has some advantage. Yawn provides more breath intake and more CO2 is expelled out. Pun Intended 🙂

Now you realize how we people used to turn into animals. Cute animals.

wildcat-356805_960_720